Take time to bless a Mum

Well, after work, I do nothing but rush home, to take care of my family. Sometimes I know I can be in such a hurry to the point that I wonder if it’s really healthy to even drive in that state.

Sometime back, I left as usual and I was rushing home but I could sense a friend of mine was in need to talk. I looked at my watch and I thought, this can wait, I am not sure I want to talk now. But I felt compelled to talk to her and so I did.

I gave her an ear. We ended up talking for almost 30 plus minutes, but I must mention that I kept looking at my watch and wondering how my kids were doing at home and how I am wasting taking time talking and talking  instead of going home.

All the same, I gave her the heart and the ear she needed. She was rather in distress.

Having done all I could have done and said, she later sent me a text message that read like this

“Thanks so so much for sharing with me how to extend grace and love, just like our Lord Jesus. I am going to pray tonight for that grace and love and give my support, thanks for giving me and ear and counseling me; sometimes you need the shoulder of a dear friend. You were God sent, and please receive double blessings for assisting me”.

I was God sent? I was so rebuked! I was rushing home to see the kids that I am sometimes obsessed thinking   about and would have missed to bless someone’s life. When I got home, my hubby had been there like two hours ago and was just playing with the kids. Needless to say-God would take care of them, He always does.

I pray that I can balance my life and all that life has so that I do not have to miss out to bless others who may need a shoulder to lean on.

Take time to bless a Mum!

A good rebuke

Most some of you will agree with me that we were brought up with a mentality that our parents were always right. Most of our parents were not wired to say sorry even when it was black and white that they were on the wrong. Is it a wonder that most of us still struggle to say sorry, thank you and we are always most of the time right?

Well, I have learnt say sorry to everybody and to my children as well, not just when I am on the wrong but even when I hurt their feelings. I do not want them to think I am perfect. I just want them to know that I love them enough to discipline them and that we are all accountable to God at the end of the day.

One of the moments I treasure is when I am dropping them to school in the morning. Most times we have a good chat in the car and sometimes-we engage in world war 3, all the way to school. Today morning I was so rebuked by my daughter while we were having a good chat.

Recently, I have had some potatoes crisps in the car; they have been munching on them sometimes in the morning when I am dropping them to school. I think I was using the kids as dustbins-just to get rid of them because it was a big bag of crisps that was opened a while ago.

The conversation this morning went something like this;

Kendi: Mum, please don’t give us crisps now

Mum: Why

Kendi: They are not healthy

Mum: Really, who said they are not health and why?

Kendi: Ms. Joy (their teacher) told us they make us scratch our skin (Funny Teacher)

Mum: So what do you want to have?

Kendi: Carrots

So – there goes my potato crisps. Need to throw them and replace with carrots sticks. She caught me 10-0

Just to let you know- their school does not allow junk food of any kind. Their snacks are either, Banana’s, arrow roots, sweet potatoes, pancakes, tomatoes, carrots  and the like.

Have a teachable week

Just time out

Had a great morning. Chris went out for a site meeting and I decided to pack my brood in the car and head out for Amani ya Juu. Nothing much- just time out.

I had not intended to take any photos until I got some moments that could not pass me by, so I got out my phone and had to do the necessary.

How can a toothless gum laugh like this and i do not take a photo-i could have even borrowed someones camera and given them my email. Such moments are eternal! 

Pure niceness 

The three

They inhaled their fruits...they were so hungry after play

When we got home, the kids were so tired, they each grabbed their diapers and were  fighting on who will wear theirs first so that I can put them to bed...ha!

Now, one of things that I am yet to understand is why some mothers go out with their helps and allow them to play with the kids for the whole time they are out, while themselves enjoy a cup or two of cappuccino and watch their kids from a far....well...Food for thought..

Have a great weekend. 

Yes or no

Funny Friday...


A typical conversation with Kendi when am trying to teach her to admit when on the wrong

Mum: Kendi are you the one who poured the food on the floor?

Kendi: Food

Mum: Tehillah Kendi did you pour  food on the floor?

Kendi: Floor

Mum: Kendi, are you the one who poured the food on the floor, please say Yes or No

Kendi: Yes or No.

Mum faints gives up!

Thanksgiving basket

My thanksgiving basket is always full; I have a million things to thank God for.

Yesterday I drove down to the Great Rift Valley Lodge for a meeting, I left Nairobi pretty early in order to make it by 8am – the drive was lonely especially when I got to the bumpy road off the Nakuru Highway.

The lonely road

 

I had the company of baboons at some point and all that surrounded me were the gorges. 

 

Got there finally

 

This is what you see from a far

After 11km of bumpy road I made it to the lodge. This is one of my favorite lodges.

I am so grateful to God for the journey mercies; I came back home safe to my family and spent a good evening at a birthday party unwinding and having fun with family and friends.

As I write this I am in Nakuru and I am grateful to God for a good ride this morning as well. I came down enjoying some good worship music, a cinnamon roll and some hot chocolate.

God I am truly thankful to you, for all you are, for your mercies that are new every morning and for your steadfast love and for your grace that helps me to handle my work and my family with joy!

Swallowing liquids

Wise Wednesday

I am not sure if this is really wise. But my hubby tends to do some stuff that makes me go like...No no...no...

When our girls refuse to swallow any liquid substances, for example porridge - which is never their favorite, my mischievous lovely husband holds tight their nose. Meaning they cannot breath through the nose. 

Now-since breathing must continue taking place, they open up their mouth and consequently swallow their porridge as they catch their breath. 

I always laugh when this happens- it’s what I call a score of 10-0 for the girls.

I think it does wonders but does the end justify the means! You tell me!

Have a great Wednesday!

This gadget works

This gadget has been used occasionally in our house to drive out folly.

 Proverbs 22:25 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.

It has worked. It works!

How do we go about it?

When one of our children disobeys, we get to have little chat with them to expound on the behavior. We ensure that they understand very well the reason as to why we need to use the rod on them; we ensure they are aware of the consequences of such behavior and that such behavior needs to be corrected. Then depending on what the misconduct was all about we give a few spanks that range mostly between one to three.

After the yelling session is over, we give them a huge loving hug and we let them know that we love them, but we need to work on their behavior.

You’re likely to find this rod in our living room, toilet and the bathroom and in the car. This is where war tends to begin most of the time; they are like red spots.  Spanking is always a private session most of the time, to ensure that the other child is not ridiculed by other neither  humiliated.

No spanking happens in our bedroom. Because this we believe is supposed to be a place of solace, where people gather to seek refuge, to talk to their parents and to be comforted. So we do not want our children to associate our bedroom to a military base.

Note: Spanking should never be done in anger. At least we try.

On mums and personalities

Mums Monday.

I like to read this webpage; understanding your God given temperament. It’s one of the bookmarked website on my computer. One of the things I have learnt as a Mum is to subject my personality to Christ and to the leading of His Holy Spirit. I know, I am sinner saved my grace. I have weaknesses but once I place them in God’s hands, He turns them into strength and uses them for His glory.

I lean more towards a choleric and that personality has quite some weaknesses. When i get impatience-i remind my self-works of the flesh, when i get angry, i remind myself-works of the flesh and the list go on....

The question I ask myself is how does a choleric personality influence my motherhood? How is that impacting on how I am raising my children?

Have a good read and a Spirit controlled week

NB: In Christianity, words and deeds cannot be divorced!

Sunday School

Today, i followed my kids to Sunday school or what people will call the children's church and decided to take them a few photos.

They love Sunday school so much. Even when Chris and i want to have bedside baptist church ( at the comfort of our home) these girls give us a reason to wake up early on Sunday. They enjoy, they tell us all the stories they learn, they sing all the songs by evening and i like the fact that they can mingle with the rest of the children and learn loads of things.

I think they also like the juice and biscuits  that they are given at the end of the class. Kendi is very good at taking care of Tana. 

Kendi giving me a smile-Tana was not aware i was in the class

They always like taking the front sits (They say leaders are never shy of taking the front seats)

The whole class

...once they are done...they always come running looking for Mum and Dad, thankfully the class always ends after our service. always nice to know, our children are being fed the word of God. The only sure foundation!

Just family

I appreciate the role of househelps in our house, but sometimes its feels so good just being family.  I have had househelps who request to be released on Saturday evening, but I usually take a step further of releasing them at 2pm, just to have some family time.

My current help requested to be having days off from Saturday evening, so I released her at 2pm after she finished all the thorough cleaning. After the morning out with the kids, we came home at 2pm to find a clean quiet house. Yes, my help had left for the weekend.

We put the kids to bed ( they usually sleep a cool 2 hours in the afternoon) and they all slept very well and my hubby and I watched a movie ( Tourist) and it was so nice just being at home sleeping on the sofa, watching some movie and taking bites and bites of food here and there...

The kids-you would think they have a self-timer in their heads...two hours on the dot, they were up and the movie had just ended. So I decided to get cooking.

This is the one evening where the menu in my house reads blank...because I get to ask my hubby what he wants for dinner...I only cook his favorite or what he truly wants.

His answer is almost always the same (i won’t say what- that’s my secret). But we had a blast in the house...Just family and we love it. I am looking forward to a great evening.

Hope your having a fun filled weekend.  

How I manage to keep it all together

Why do I blog about this? Because I have heard that question a number of times.  How do I manage to raise three kids under four, keep up with my demanding job that requires a lot of travelling, and have only one house help and the list goes on.

You want to know the answer on how I manage all that

The answer: I DON'T

Behold

 This is my house most of the time

After any working day in the office i begin another day at home that looks like this.

if i dare leave them for a moment  i will find them looking like this!

and sometimes i have to deal with this during dinner

but on some days -things can be pretty easy...

My new neighbor recently asked me –How many kids do you have and I said “three”, “how old are they”, she asked ...so I told her their ages and her response was  “That explains it”  She did not tell it what that explains but for sure...your guess is as good as mine.

So that's the secret to my success survival.

Pure chaos-but smiling and loving it all the way! If I don’t, who will?

Enjoy your Friday! 

Not much about him but today....

Thank giving Thursday

I dont say much about my hubby on this blog. But today i choose to thank God for Him.He is simply the Priest in our Home. When i think of his role as Husband and Father, i thank God i am a Woman ( and proud to be his wife). Being the leader and the head of a Home, knowing that the back-stops with him, that the destiny of our family as much as it lies in God also depends on the kind of leadership offered by your husband-Such a HUGE responsibility, i know it has its measure of grace but my role is to pray for this man without ceasing.

He loves his daughters -He makes her Smile!

Insists on being taken a photo even when he is not invited! 

She is proud - that's her Daddy!

Feeling His Son

And proud too!

He likes to have fun too!

And bonding with his daughters

We truly THANK God for you!

Six eyes....

Wise Wednesday 

My sweet girl, Kendi. Oh..always make me laugh because she reminds me of how I used to wonder how my mum would always know my silly schemes. I used to wonder if she had six eyes. So here I am now-a Mum and I seem to have the six eyes too.

So, on Tuesday morning I saw her school bag bulging out – it looked something like this

So I decided to check it out and this is what I found.

So I returned the toy and called her (she was in the kitchen) and told her that we need to talk. I asked her, “Kendi do you have a toy in your bag?”....she gave me a sheepish smile and removed the toy without uttering a word, then she gave me that look of ...Mum....how do you always know what I am up to? I almost told her, it has happened to me many many times-ask your grandma. 

(They are not allowed to carry toys to school, they use them to size each other up and pride about their latest toys-so I have caught her twice – so this time round I needed to put my foot down)

Have wise day.

Who reduced my fruit portion?

Yes..the oil prices. They have halved my fruit portion. I always carry my lunch with me, yes, it's called mindful eating because i do not want to buy food that i have not thought about and secondly, it's expensive to buy food every day anyway. So i used to buy fruits for 50Kshs and they were a good portion, a portion would  serve two comfortably  But today, the portion looks like this.

Every time i think of how expensive life is....i have to reminded myself that i serve an almighty God. Otherwise, i  can think myself into depression, just wondering how we are going to make it. 

Abiding Mom Vs. Super Mom

I am just sharing this article because i think it makes loads of sense as we raise out Totos. I have subscribed to passionate homemaking and Lindsay had asked Ann Dunagan. To share her thoughts. I especially like when someone says we rely on God’s grace. Ensure you check out the super Mom and the abiding Mom.

So here we go:

So, how do I put a lifetime of principles into a few concise tips? I’ve come to realize motherhood is a complex calling. It begins with a tiny little person growing inside of us, but the ramifications this has on every area of our life and future are HUGE!!! Successful motherhood is not easy, and it’s definitely not for wimps. Good motherhood demands everything we’ve got, plus more. It requires strength of character; discipline; reliance on God’s grace (and lots of help from friends and family); endurance; a new heart for intercession, like we never knew before; lots of laundry soap, Comet, and Windex; laughter; and VISION.

Just to let you know, I absolutely LOVE being a mom. Some of you may have struggled with accepting the idea of motherhood, but not me. Even from the time I was a girl, I’ve always longed for the whole package-deal. I was raised as the oldest child in a fairly large family (with six kids), and throughout my childhood and youth, I always looked forward to being a mom. At our wedding, Jon and I requested a prayer of blessing for lots of kids. And then, once we started having babies, we’ve been praising God for this dream come true!!!

  

I love the feeling of a baby growing and kicking inside me (and that season when laying on the couch and eating well gives me a feeling of productivity). I love the challenge and work and JOY of giving birth. I love nursing and nurturing a precious newborn (and seeing those big eyes looking up at me). I love snuggling with toddlers, managing a houseful of rowdy munchkins, mixing batches of yummy cookies at a crowded kitchen counter, enjoying deep conversations with teens, envisioning possibilities with young adults . . . and aiming our arrows into the world to do some SERIOUS damage to the kingdom of darkness. WOOHOO!!! I love it!!!

Tip #1 – Be confident in God’s calling.

“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”

Motherhood is a vital calling, envisioned in the heart of God. By God’s grace, it can be a position of influence and a sacrificial place of leadership in our society. It’s SO big . . . However, the tricky part of the call, is that most women don’t realize the possibilities and they don’t seriously train themselves for the job. Most mothers (even Christian moms) get so discouraged in the position (because they’re too concerned about what others think about “wasting” their gifts and intelligence), or they get so bored (because they don’t realize or “tap into” the kingdom-advancing possibilities).

With motherhood comes an anointing and a GRACE for each child and each day. God has this for you, but you have to receive it from Him. By your own efforts and strengths, motherhood can get ugly; but praise God, you’re NOT by yourself. Motherhood is not about making you look good, it’s about glorifying God and making Him look good.It’s not about making kids happy, but about training them to be holy. Your days may seem mundane and unimportant, but motherhood is a high and holy calling.

“If God calls you to be a mother, don’t stoop to be a queen!”

I do have a few thoughts regarding work outside of the home, especially if you have young children. If you’re feeling a longing to go back to work, ask yourself to honestly evaluate your motivating reason. Is it fear? Discontentment? Boredom? Personal esteem? Just needing a break from the kids? Is your desire to work a true need for additional income, or could God give you other ideas to live with less . . . Or to make money from home? In my opinion, a full-time stay-at-home mom can raise the standard of living for the whole family, more than any job. God has called us as mothers to “mother” our children. It’s not a job for a professional . . . Or for your mother-in-law.

Tip #2 – Be consistent.

As a mom, be consistent in discipline. Be the mom. Training kids for God is a big deal and a holy responsibility. We’re training our children to live with the understanding of both the LOVE of GOD and the FEAR of GOD in their lives. The way we parent will give our kids a reflection of who God is. When God says something He means it. When He gives an instruction, it’s important. He’s not fair (in the way we view fairness); but He is just and good. We need to reflect the heart of God as our child’s parent. And as wives, we need to let our husbands be the leaders.

I saw a mom with a screaming kid. “If you stop screaming, I’ll give you a candy.” OH MY!!! NO!!!

Nip it in the bud, and please be a consistent mother to your 2yr old. Training little ones is so much easier than trying to undo bad decisions in the teenage years.

With teenagers, be the mom, not the buddy. When they’re in junior high, begin to establish WITH your kids what God’s plans and purposes are for their lives. It’s BIG stuff. Don’t back down. And seek God’s help every day. Look to other families and older teens who are good examples. Seek other family friends who can “echo” your godly counsel. See the big picture, and help discipline and train your child, like a LIFE-COACH, to help them accomplish all that God has for this season. Hold tight when they’re little, then begin to let go as they get older. See the long-term target, and get your kids to see it too!

Tip #3 – Guard the gates of your home.

As a mom, be on-guard at the gates of your home. Your home is GOD’S kingdom headquarters in an enemy territory. You need to guard the eye gate and the ear gate. Guard your thoughts and guard your kid’s thoughts. Take every bad thought — discouragement, lie, fear, worry, temptation, bad attitude — CAPTIVE to the obedience of Christ! Guard against media, movies, evil influences (like demonic cartoons, games or horoscopes, books, or toys), fleshly printed material (women’s magazines, romance books, chick-flicks, bad-influence friends). 

One thing I’ve found is to stop JUNK on day 1, at the very door of your home. Don’t give evil or slight compromise a foothold (it won’t get easier if you let things “slide” for a while). The family lives to please God, not to please us as parents (or to make us look good), and not to please the kids. Your home is a sanctuary, and a retreat center, and a discipleship training school. Don’t “punish” your kids by grounding them to stay home, or to punished by sending them to their rooms.  Don’t you want your kids to LOVE being home with you?

Tip #4 – Mother by faith, not by fear

As a mom, be a warrior, not a worrier. Parent in FAITH, not fear!!! Release your kids to God, and to GOD’S purposes. Be passionate about raising kids for God, but don’t take more “government” than God requires. Do your battle in prayer: and wrestle against principalities and powers (identify your enemies, like  strife, rebellion, sin, or laziness). Your kids are not your enemy, and neither is your spouse. Take your concerns & spouse disagreements to a higher authority — GOD– and Pray!!!

Also, realize that as your kids get older, HORMONES are your friends, not your enemy. They are created and designed by God to help our children desire to find God’s life partner. Don’t fear the teenage years, but help your kids to bring their feelings and desires under God’s control.

Tip #5 – Rely on God’s GRACE!!!

Just live in God’s grace, and abide with Him. See this ABIDING MOM vs. SUPER MOM chart.

Don’t follow anyone else’s packaged-parenting-plan, and don’t put yourself on a guilt trip if you don’t measure-up to what’s working for other mothers. Yes, be willing to learn and to receive counsel and to get  organizational ideas — but seek God’s unique divine guidance for each day. If you’re needing advice with a particular area in your mothering, get help; but if something doesn’t work for your family and your personalities, whether that’s a home schooling curriculum, or a meal plan, or a cleaning schedule, or a devotional plan, or a sit-down corporate regular family Bible study plan, just relax!!!

And let your husbands be the men they are called to be (which might mean not always talking or trying to get your way and wanting to implement all your ideas.  You don’t have to be amazing; just walk with God, and be faithful. Just be you (with God’s help), and be the unique family God has created you to be.

Raise your kids for God, and get ready to RELEASE your arrows to God’s destiny!

Tana’s birthday party

We held Tana's birthday on Saturday. It was a good way to start the day.

When we woke up in morning- Kendi came and told us-"its sweet" and we knew the cake had already been attacked-look at the cake, see traces of fingers? 

Her Excellency Tana Thamani, She was the birthday girl. She is not so good at handling too much attention. I could imagine she was saying- what is it with you guys- just eat the cake.

The guests of honour came in style  

(From left to right)

The Prime Minister Ms. Dinah Belle (She is a lovely, sweet and tough girl; she knows how to take a good high stool and have a good view of everything)

Hon Hannah Peter, Minister for Special programmes (This adorable girl is just special in her own way- calm and sweet and will almost not make a fuss on anything, she likes a lot of me time)

Hon. John Culver, Minister for Gender Children and Social Development (This handsome boy was trying to entrench the one third affirmative action of either gender-He is the only boy here and he loves children)

Hon: Ruth Amelia, Minister for Youth and Sports-(She has a “sweet” smile and she is full of life, bubbly and very cheerful)

Hon Kendi Tehillah, Minister for Energy( This cute girl has too much energy for me, she wants to be everywhere with everybody doing everything)

Hon. Samara Karega, Minister for Water and Sanitation – This sweet girl is kept so clean by her parents, they literary  sanitize her- you think am being mean- she came in well dressed for breakfast and they changed her when the breakfast was done to a new set of clothes.Ha! ha!

The Guests brought their parents with them (How nice)

Nathan and Candace (right)

 Alexandria and Peter(left)

 Sylvia and Alex (They went to attend to some humanitarian crisis that came up during breakfast)

Everybody opening the gifts- can you locate Samara at the back?

This is what she was doing-eating and eating and eating the cake most of the time

and when she was done, she looked something like this....

.....and this is how it was by evening...

 We thank God for a great day. In Him- we enjoy all that He has given us, in Him we celebrate birthdays and look forward to more.

We love you Tana. 

Simply His amazing grace

Mums Monday  

He leads us to paths unknown 

even if we are not sure of what awaits us on the other side of the mountain, we trust He is there!

Yesterday I woke up and all I could say is that-God’s grace is so amazing.

As soon as  I had posted the househelp lessons part 1, I got a call that made me rethink all the lessons again, they all remains good lessons but I think I will have a few more by the time I am writing househelps part 2. Yes, I fired my househelp one day after that post.

She was a good girl, but I learnt a few things that were just not right and we could not live with her as a family. When I asked her why she did all that she did-first it was denial but when she realized I had all the fact together she said “Kila wakati nikipata kazi mzuri na employer mzuri, nashikagwa na mashetani inaniharibia kazi” (Every time I get a good employer, who wants to help me, I get attacked by some evil spirits that causes me to mess up with my work) – talk of not taking up responsibility for your actions.

All that said- I thank God for the grace that took me through the weekend, it was rather tough, it was hard but I felt God’s grace all through.  I had take time and relax and allow her to stay with us for one night without uttering a word because I knew if I addressed the issue before I was armed with another househelp, she would most probably take it out on my children. I had a breakfast meeting on Friday and I was in charge so I needed to be calm and keep all things in order.

I am thankful to God that I now have another girl, I do not know for how long (-this will be well addressed on lesson No vision 2030). But most of all I am thankful that it has been okay, we were able to have Tana’s birthday despite the challenges. I have learnt to lean on God, to wait on Him, to know that nothing is hidden from God, to entrust Him with my life and the cares of my family, to trust him to preserve the integrity of our family. Every time I get a househelp, I remind myself that I am limited by nature of being human in knowing who she really is- so I make it a point of praying for her almost daily and asking God to reveal anything that could be hidden and that would compromise our family. For who knows the motives of man apart from God. And trust you me, He is so super faithful.

It’s hard, yes it’s very hard when you have young children, you do not want to keep changing househelps, it takes time for new househelp to learn the kids, their different needs, different moods, like and dislikes. You are not even sure if the kids will like her in the first place. I am so glad that I only have one child who is at home for now, makes it a bit easier for us.

Above all, I am thankful to God. He takes care of the heart of the mother, her worries, her fears, all the anxieties. Today, my baby is being attend to by new househelp, the thought of it makes me want to leave my desk and run home, I will cal like 5 times before the day is over, yes, I will be mother hen for a few days-but most of all- I remember, He watches over them, He takes care of them and He takes care of my worrying heart.

But you are a shield around me, O’ Lord you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.

Psalms 3:3

May you walk this week- with your head held-up high

Guess who is reading the daily newspaper?

Funny Friday

I bumped into my sweet girl, seriously reading a newspaper while having her breakfast. 

Look, she is all dressed in uniform ready to go to school but she must catch up on some news. She was not even aware that I took this photo. It made me wonder at what age i started appreciating newspapers (Thanks to being raised up the Village)

 I was wondering what is going through her mind

Must be the Oil prices...too high for Mum and Dad and maybe she is also hoping that this time round we will have a Woman as the Chief Justice (CJ). Well, let’s see girl, who knows!

Have a warm Friday and a Great weekend ahead!

Thanksgiving Thursday

I am so thankful to God. For his saving grace that carries us through each an every day. Sometimes we begin the day without knowing how it will unfold, but despite the changing circumstances of life, you know that you can always lean on He who changes not.

I am so thankful that I have a heavenly Daddy- whom I call Father. I am so thankful to be a daughter of the most high King. I am so thankful that His ways are not my ways, and best still, His ways are higher than our ways. How awesome and why wouldn’t anyone want to have some high ways in their life?

I am so thankful and will always be thankful for my family. They are indeed a great treasure!

Have a thankful Thursday!

At peace with househelps part 1

I am not sure what to say about this, but I know it is a subject that many mothers will discuss over and over again. It is one of those subjects that affect us – and eventually affect those we care about.

I have heard to learn many lessons as a Mum and as a wife on this area. I have made many mistakes but I have chosen to move on and learn from them

Today, I will share a few lessons

a)     It was not a career

Please remember that no girl ever says – when I grow up, I would like to be a househelp, so always know that househelps are househelps because things just didn’t turned out right at some point, almost none of them is there by choice, it not a career that they desired to pursue. So most of the time you are living with someone who is making do with her life and she therefore needs more understanding that you think. Her past is most of the time already bad enough!

Lessons I have learnt– Extend mercy and grace and ask God to help you to accommodate her, with all her strengths and weakness. Remember she is coming from somewhere, she has had her world of 25 year or less or more and you are not going to change all that in a day....

b)    It’s your house

No matter whom you employ to assist you, remember this is your house-be in charge. Initially I used to get angry and agitated just by the mare fact that the househelp did not tell me when the milk was over, the bread and other house hold items. Actually I remember threatening one of my girls and telling her, “don’t be telling me at the last minute that there  are no tomatoes- if you dare tell me there is none at the last minute, you will buy them with your own salary”

I think it might have worked but at some point I discovered I was very wrong and I was actually being intimidating.

Lessons I have learnt – I usually make deliberate efforts to check out the fridge/ freezer, and the store and I am aware of what is missing or needs to be replaced. Infact, when she says, the tomatoes are over- my reply is. I know. (In other words, this is my house and I am I am responsible).

c)     When she is late

Oh- this used to drive me crazy. But not anymore or may be just a little bit. The Lord has used these girls to work on my patience and self control. Issued to get all worked up, I could  think and  spend the hours before she arrived just figuring out what words I will use on her to let her know how annoyed I am.

Lessons learnt- please go ahead and cook( if you can), if she was coming to cook, let her find food ready, you have moved on with life, remember this is your house-it’s that simple.  When she arrives, first and foremost – say hi (I am sure you don’t want to) and then relax.  After a while, try and find out why she is late (remember to be calm). You must always try to be in control. I figured out that yelling has never changed anybody, so you better just save your breath. If she has nothing to say about her lateness, remind her that it is good to keep time and to call if she thinks she will be late. Most of all- don’t sweat over it. She came back anyway!

d)    Saying sorry and thank you

If you are like me, you will realize that most of them never say sorry or thank you. I remember my first girl; I kept telling her to say sorry for all the wrongs she did  or to say thank you if I did something good to her. I reminded her many times, and then I thought- What on earth am I doing?

Lesson learnt – give it up! Sorry and Thank you have to do with heart positions other than just the words, you may teach her once, but if she seems not to get it or is just ignoring it – concentrate on teaching these values to your children. So....I rest my case. Whether they say thank you or sorry...it never bothers me....after all, it takes time to change habits and attitudes

More lessons on House girls: No vision 2030, Give up on perfection- It’s for heaven - not earth, Choose your battles, It’s only a season, A day at a time... .......coming soon....

I am still not perfect, but I am wiser....Mums, what have you learnt with time....