Finding balance

To be honest – I don’t think you ever get to a point where you feel like you have attained a good balance as a Mum. 

Balance is something you keep working on, that way, you keep re-evaluating your priorities. Most days are not the same, and when you think you have gotten it all together, something’s comes up and throw you off guard.  It could be a sick child, unexpected travel, a house help who suddenly leaves and the like.

However over time, there are a few things that have helped me stay sane and I would like to share them. I am sure you have yours too.

• Wake up early- don’t allow yourself to rush through  the morning , waking up in panic and having a horrible morning always paves way for a rushed unsettled day. You would rather have extra time to relax before your day begins other than works yourself tired early in the morning.
• If you can pack kids stuff the night before, very good! Check their bags; be sure their shoes are ready, socks, water in their bottles. Even on Saturday night, I like to have Sunday clothes ready. I don’t like to wake up in the morning to think of what the kids will wear that day.
• Simplify your life- I have always ensured that the menu for Sunday evening is Ugali and Maziwa Lala/mala so that in case the house help is late to come back or we are all late, we can easily cook the Ugali and drown it with mala and within no time - everyone is in bed.
• Have a food menu- this way, you don’t have to think every evening what you will eat tomorrow, secondly it helps you to plan and purchase what is needed in good time. However, keep changing the menu once in a while; otherwise, it can get boring!
• Empower your house help – she must be able to make decisions without always having to consult you. For example, if there is no rice, she needs not to call and ask, “the menu says rice, and there is none, what do I do?”…she can easily inter change the days and cook what is available then and explain that to you later ….
• Try as much as you can to stay on the loop on how things are in your house- don’t always be caught by surprise. There is sugar, no salt, no Royco, no milk…
• Try to think through what you are likely to wear tomorrow, nothing wastes time like putting clothes’ on and off, while you still have a thousand other things to do in the morning.
• This many sound funny but as a mother with three kids under 5- I have for a while avoided hairstyles that will take my time in the morning. Well, I finally locked my hair and that is one headache gone.
• When you get to work-try not to waste time. Just work. So that you can beat your deadlines like everyone else and still leave on time to go home and be with your family. If you can work from home, work when the kids are asleep. However when you get home, just be home and have fun with the kids.
• This may sound rude, but establish limits with your phone. I hardly pick calls between 6:00pm – 8:30pm – Why? Coz I need to just be with my family, especially with the kids who will need to be in bed by 8:30pm. However, I also realized it is so hard to give someone full attention while I have kids running up and down. Within no time, most of my friends have come to appreciate this and will always call between 8:30pm-9pm, including my own Dad and Mum.

And the list can be long but remember, don't be legalistic- Legalism is a joy-sucker!. If things don't work sometimes, its okay!  

Day of a working Mum.

Well, I don’t know how your days look like as a Mum but mine can be busy. What truly amazes me is purely Gods’ grace through the seasons of life, the changes, the struggle to balance and to keep priorities right.

This is how my normal day looks like:

 

Wake up: 4:30am - I like to spend a minimum of one hour bonding with God, prayer and bible reading. Not that I don’t bond during other hours, but this time is really important for me, like so dear to me. Sometimes it extends to more than an hour and I love to just be led of the Holy Spirit so be it…

5:30am or there about– I catch up with office work, respond to mails and just finish up previous work that could have needed my attention before the day begins. 

6:35am – Joint prayers with my hubby 

6:45am – I take a shower and dress up for the day. 

7:00 am - Serve kids breakfast (when they wake up it better be on the table)and prepare any snacks they may need to carry

7:15 am -Wake up kids, have breakfast, dress them up- (this time is super chaotic, sometimes we have to change our own clothes, Kids throw up on us, sneeze right in front of you with a full mouth of food, their pour breakfast on themselves-meaning change of clothes and the like, sometimes, it can just be wonderful and rather the opposite, however no day is the same. 

8:00am- Off to drop kids to school and head to work straight after dropping them 

(I will not give you the details of my day but for those of you who wonder what i do...please check here. Anyway,  I have set two alarms , one for mid day and another for 3pm)  These alarms are meant to bring my attention back to God...I simply realized that a whole day could pass without even having a simple thought about God. To tell you the truth, God really matters in my life, whether I am working or not…sometimes the alarm goes off when I am in meeting and I whisper in my heart– ‘God I love you and you mean so much to me”…sometimes I say – “ God I am Kinda bored in this meeting but help me and give me wisdom”,  other times – “God, this day is really not turning out well please give me wisdom, I tell it all to Him… 

5:30 am -Leave office and back home hopefully if the jam is not bad, I get home by 6:00pm. Depending on who is home early, homework needs to be checked and school books sighed to verify that work was done. 

7:00pm- We all have dinner together – if one of us is late we still proceed and the other joins in.

7:45pm- Hubby and I bath the kids (another special time- cries and yells and the like) - Oh but other times, singing and dancing and rejoicing 

8:10pm- Prayers and bible reading with the children 

8:20pm – Kids off to bed

8:20pm- Pack some of their bags ready for next morning and just do a good round the house to see how things are

8:45pm – Take evening shower

9:00pm- Watch 9”0clcok news (sometimes not)

10:00pm Bed Time (by this time, I am really worn out)

And I praise God for the day!

The gardener

As a young girl in the village. My mother gave up all hope that I could be of any use in her garden.  We had a small garden and every time we tried to do some gardening, she would literally throw me out.

 But she always made comments like; 

 “I pray to God that you will excel in your academics, get employed, so that when you grow up you will hire a gardener to take care of your garden. Otherwise if you ever get married in a village where you have to till the land, I am 100% sure that your husband will bring you back to me because you just can’t cope!!!!” (Please read that loudly because she would shout as she says it!!!)

Well, that was my Mum. For some reason it never bothered me and her prayers were heard.  I now have a sizable garden in my backyard and a gardener and I do well with my supervisory role and yes, I thrive in my office.

 And guess what I supply my mum with spinach when she needs them. 

 

Spinach from the Shamba ( garden)

  

Free range eggs from the chickens

  

Beans

 

 Capsicum and much more on my little Shamba.

Truth

I don’t know what the New Year holds, but I do have a more deeper hunger and thirst for God. 

The loss of my nephew last year did to an extent throw me off guard as far as my relationship with God is concerned. But I must say that I am grateful that how I feel about God does not mean that God feels the same about me. His word tells me how He feels about me. Oh...He loves me..and more...

I have one major commitment in life. To know God.  Many times I here people say- Here I am Lord use me! I am sorry, but I do not seem to fall in that category quite often. My prayer is more of, here I am Lord, I want to know you, change me for yourself, and I want to walk in habitual fellowship with you.

This brings me to the next questions.

•  How do you walk in habitual fellowship with someone that you don’t know more so if what you think you know about them is not the actual truth?

•  How do you love someone deeply and intimately unless you know how they love to be loved?

Jesus said- if you love me, OBEY my commandments. Period.

Back to walking and having a deep an intimate relationship with God- During one of the days that we gathered to comfort my bro and sis for the loss of their son, my nephew, one pastor came and said “God is good and He does good”.  Those words were sort of amplified in my heart and I remember whispering to to God like – Really? You are good and you do good, even at this moment? 

Now, as the year begins I have a deep thirst to know God. To know Him and to relate with Him in Truth and to interact with the truth of whom He really is. I think through our experiences and socialization we can easily develop deep deceptive notions of who God is. And these deceptions hinder our walk/intimacy with God.

So this year I begin my journey.So far I have learnt and am meditating through the study of His word on certain truths about God;

•  God does not delight in wickedness : Psalm 5:4
• God is good and does good Psalm 119:68
• God is rigidly righteous Psalm 11:7

….and the learning of this Truth continues……  

By the help of the Holy Spirit I desire to reconfigure my thinking to the accurate understanding of the Truth of who God is. Why? I am committed to walking with Him- I need to Know Him if I am to walk Him intimately.