Thursday, 8 March 2012

Church and Young Mums

We have been trying to settle down to a place of worship. Yes, just changing fellowship, serving the same wonderful God but we thought we need to give special care and attention to our Children.

So, we have sort of settled somewhere and I just love the church school for the children and the crèche for the nursing Mums. My kids seem to be more in tune with the word of God and they will tell me all they learnt after every service. They make lamps to signify that they are the light of the world and all sorts of stuff. So when people ask why we are moving churches I tell them simply because we value our children and we are giving them priority at this stage of their lives.

But the other day, through my gender lenses I realized that since most places of worship are led by Men, either in the deacon board or the elders, it is very easy to forget the needs of mothers, especially young mothers. 

To be honest, the last time I comfortably sat through a whole Sunday service was more than four ears ago, when I was nine months pregnant with Kendi. I have no regrets about it!

In a church with no crèche, I have had to endure people making faces at me when my babies cry and the not so good attention that makes you unleash your breast with super speed to calm the baby, just to realize later on that your neighbors are wondering why you are exposing your breast to everyone, and while trying to reach out for some covering, the baby chokes. Needless to say, some could have also bound my babies with the notion that their crying is demonic.

Well, that said, I appreciate that I have come to know Christ and continue to pursue the Him passionately and we therefore desire that our children have a good foundation of loving and knowing Jesus. That is why I will leave any congregation, with no apologies to search for a place where my children will be best ministered too. 

I was wondering, if I were to be given an opportunity to be part and parcel of planting a new church, what special needs - only tailored for mothers would I look into? …one of them is a changing room for babies, water for breastfeeding mums and dedicated ushers to meet the needs of young Mums and the list goes on.....

Young Mums also need to be ministered too and unless someone is sensitive to their needs, it very easy to have miserable young mums in the congregation just wondering - when will this church business finish I head home?!

9 comments:

  1. I hear you! We also changed churches because of our kids. One Sunday at our former church I was outside with our younger boy trying to soothe him - I'd walked out because I could no longer stand those stares you talked about. My husband was also outside with our toddler! What was the point then, we asked ourselves, if the whole family spent most of the service outside. We moved churches where all our needs were met and are still happy there - 10yrs later.

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  2. Very Interesting Faith!I feel you and I know there are times I would run and run around the field with the kids. It felt like an outdoor activity on a Sunday and not church. thanks for sharing.

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  3. I am just laughing at your comments. Its interesting because that scene of running around is repeated many places. Including at our church!I have not moved yet but I can identify.I look forward to the day I will sit through an entire church service and not have to look over my shoulder to see what my daughter is up to.

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  4. We changed our church building, not our membership. Our church is almost 60 years old, and some of the charter members are still with us. We have many new families, too. About four years ago there were several newborns within a few months and we realized our nursery and toddler facilities were outdated. I must admit it takes some older members a while to realize not only the need but the current costs must be met. Now we have a brand new nursery and toddler room, with their own restroom, and a TV so the Mums can watch the service; a one-way mirror so parents can see their toddler's play from the hallway. Babies and toddlers are welcome in the sanctuary, too, and when I hear one becoming fussy, I pray that angels will come, giving them comfort and knowledge that they are loved and that hearing God's word before they even understand their meaning is good. Jesus commanded that children be allowed to come to Him. We should make it easy for them to do so -- as much for Mums as for children.

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    1. Awesome..you have done so much. Wish we could match up...

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  5. Hi Ems, I feel you on this, I used to run around with our todler sometimes back until I started disliking Sundays. But gave me wisdom and I spotted a corner where my baby gal wouldn't figure out where the door was so she would walk up and down the isle without going outside. As she grew bigger she realized that we don't go out to play on Sundays when service is going on and we dont ask for nyamnyams until she joined Sunday school which she attends on her own. I hope the same will work with the little one but I can only hope. Though our facilities are not the best I am not changing churches though...am comfortable where I am and know that running outside will only be for a short time though very inconveniencing!!

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  6. Wonderful that you would find a place that meets all of your family needs.

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  7. Hi!! Rachel told me about your blog and glad she did!! Feel you on this as this has been a big struggle for us since being here!! I was thinking though - maybe you could implement some of your ideas in April...April 15 (I think), the women of the church are in charge of the service....from parking attendants, to ushers, to the choir, to...EVERYTHING! They even mentioned last week (it was a short meeting after church) that if you wanted to help, let them know so they could arrange childcare. Maybe you could present some of your ideas and help implement them for this sunday (which might eventually lead to implementation in other Sundays)!!!! Sharon

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    1. Thanks Mama Zach...will consider your idea. I was not left behind when the Mums did...i like Mama Zach...Sounds nice and cool...and to find an american face behind Mama Zach....very Hilarious...

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