Hurting deeply

I am in the office and I cannot stop thinking about my nephew. I recently shared how God has loved on me, and part of that was the birth of my nephew, Jaden Joseph Karega.

But little did we know that this wonderful boy had 4 weeks to live. The Lord called him home on 1oth of November 2012. I am hurting deeply and I can only imagine how the Mum and Dad are feeling. But I am trusting God to heal our hearts.

These are the photos I had shared in my recent post, busy but loving it...

Sweet Angel...

 

Forever in my heart Jaden.

 Please pray for Sylvia and Alex during this painful time in their lives.  Sylvia blogs too and you can find her blog here and send a word of encouragement her way.

To all possessive mothers

Well, can I start by saying that I think i do boarder around being possessive and I am praying about it.

You will hear a lot of stories about mothers and how they are possessive of their children. My friends and I were discussing about this the other day and while it is an area of contention I must admit it is one those issues I am leaning to take to the Lord in prayer because I do not want to go overboard and worst of all, limit God’s move in the lives of our children because of my utter selfishness.

A friend once gave me a story of how her son was so sick for weeks and one day the Lord spoke to her heart and told her, ‘every time you pray for him, you say, God heal "my" son, I want you to say, God, please heal this your child” and the child was instantly healed. The issues was not the grammar, it was the mere lesson that, please remember, he is my son, my child, and you are only a steward.

Let’s think about it further, 

• David, young boy born of a woman for master’s use, served king Saul and latter become king
• Samuel, the mother had to let go after weaning for masters use
• Joseph, separated from family at 17 years of age for masters use
• Queen Esther – was an orphan, taken in my Mordecai, her uncle …for masters use 

Well, what I am saying is this, God uses men and women, this men and women are born by women. Now the women, who bear these little precious ones, must be careful to remember, these children first and foremost belong to the Lord. They are not ours to keep (What a hard truth!)…Pray that the Lord helps us mothers, not to abort Gods divine purpose for our children just because we cannot let go.

When we attended parenting class by navigators 4 years ago, the underlying message was "preparing our children to leave"…I hope you are preparing yours to leave…because they will…for masters use!!! Well, I am trying…help me Jesus!!!

Why?

Why is it so hard to trust God even when He has been so faithful in your life and you have absolute evidence in your life that He never fails? I find myself wavering in my faith over and over again. A condition that I must confess, I am so tired of!!!! 

I am asking God to help me to trust Him. A situation presents itself  in my life, I pray and believe God for an answer, He answers and I am in awe at how He works. Not so long, I face another challenge and I am down again, stressed, worried, yes praying but not having enough faith and assurance to believe that if God did it before He can do it again. Its feels like a cycle of unbelief. 

I do feel like I sometimes behave  like the children of Israel during their times in the wilderness, they had tangible evidence of Gods miraculous deliverance but over and over again, they doubted God deliverance when challenges came their way, they were busy complaining and wishing they could return to Egypt.  

But I am grateful to God for His Holy Spirit, He is my helper, He strengths  my soul at such times, best of all I am in the process of learning that I am not supposed to live the Christian life in my own strength but that I should allow the Holy Spirt to live the life of Christ through me.

I have come to cherish Jesus words when He said “it is good that I go”…I am so glad He went…sounds funny but yes I am very happy, because now I have a helper, the Holy Spirit with whom I can walk in fellowship with every day and He always points me back to Jesus and Helps me all the time so that Christ’s strength is made perfect in my weakness. 

Busy but loving it...

The last two months have been busy. Nevertheless, I have continued to enjoy most of ALL a wonderful pleasant walk with God. I have failed terribly, disobeyed  and repented and continued to desire this awesome walk with God. This is the center and the pillar of my life. At the same time, i have continued to enjoy God's love in my life in a million ways as below...

 We welcomed our nephew...Jayden Josef Karega, Congrats to Sly and Alex....

 

Love love him!!!

 

Hanging out with the Kids...they love love to watch National Geographic on my phone...and you can all guess what happens to my credit...

 

Lillie's in our home. This is a sight to behold...

 

 Beautiful...we are all out gardening!!!!!

 

Enjoying my 6th Marriage anniversary at an amazing get away place. Thanks Hubby!!!!!

 

Just in case you are wondering...this is what i was looking at...right at the door of our tented  cottage

 

Married to this man for six years and i LOVE him to BITS!

   

Been up and about with the kids too...

 

Been hiding in this lovely place for a few days... we keep checking out fair places to take time off to rejuvenate. This place cost us 4,000kshs per day as family (50USD). Of course we cooked for ourselves ( well, i carry frozen food, my help cooks for a whole day before i travel, so  i pack it all and keep in the fridge once we arrive). It was fun being in the forest and alone.

 

Kids helping me out with cleaning...

 

.. some fire time too...

 

...kids would sleep in the loft...they loved it...

 

Hubby helping in the kitchen

 

Someone having some good me-time...

 

just having a relaxed day...

 

Kids on donkey ride

 

they loved it...

 

relaxing 

 

just chilling by the fire

 

loving on each other

 

book warms

 

more relaxing 

 

more fun...

In all things we give thanks to God. One of the reason i have been off the blog is because i am in transition, changing jobs and thats also the reason we thought we need to take some time off as a family and realx a bit before i take on a new assignment soon....

Today I will magnify you.

When I read the story of Joshua, these are words that I worry about the most. God told Joshua a few things that would lead to his success, which were basically about following the law and the commandments as given by the Lord. Later on, God tells Joshua, today I am about to magnify you in the sight of all Israel, so that they can know as I was with Moses, so am I with you. 

Now, my concern is this, how many of us including myself can be able to handle themselves with humility if God were to say these words to us. 

“Emmah, today I will magnify you in the sight of all…..” 

I think these are very scary words. I was having a conversation with God and I was saying “God I know, when I am in trouble, I can get on my knees and pray, when I am in distress I can call on you, when calamity strikes you are my refuge”…but what happens if you were to exalt me?

Think about it, most of us go to God in prayer based on wants. Our prayer life is God give me this, God give me that...i  need this and i need that....

Imagine if God were to give you all that your heart desires, if God were to tell you, the moment you desire, you have it….or like the Nakumat slogan “you need it, we’ve got it” and more than that it is yours. What then would keep you going back to God and having a deep and intimate fellowship with Him?

Sincerely thinking, most of us, without needs we have no prayer life and that is not the way our relationship with God was meant to be. 

So what happens when God magnifies us? Will we still desire the need for Him….?

As for me, I am on my knees praying to God to help me not to be proud, for when I am proud, I am walking in opposition with God… “He opposes the proud”..