Why?

Why is it so hard to trust God even when He has been so faithful in your life and you have absolute evidence in your life that He never fails? I find myself wavering in my faith over and over again. A condition that I must confess, I am so tired of!!!! 

I am asking God to help me to trust Him. A situation presents itself  in my life, I pray and believe God for an answer, He answers and I am in awe at how He works. Not so long, I face another challenge and I am down again, stressed, worried, yes praying but not having enough faith and assurance to believe that if God did it before He can do it again. Its feels like a cycle of unbelief. 

I do feel like I sometimes behave  like the children of Israel during their times in the wilderness, they had tangible evidence of Gods miraculous deliverance but over and over again, they doubted God deliverance when challenges came their way, they were busy complaining and wishing they could return to Egypt.  

But I am grateful to God for His Holy Spirit, He is my helper, He strengths  my soul at such times, best of all I am in the process of learning that I am not supposed to live the Christian life in my own strength but that I should allow the Holy Spirt to live the life of Christ through me.

I have come to cherish Jesus words when He said “it is good that I go”…I am so glad He went…sounds funny but yes I am very happy, because now I have a helper, the Holy Spirit with whom I can walk in fellowship with every day and He always points me back to Jesus and Helps me all the time so that Christ’s strength is made perfect in my weakness. 

Busy but loving it...

The last two months have been busy. Nevertheless, I have continued to enjoy most of ALL a wonderful pleasant walk with God. I have failed terribly, disobeyed  and repented and continued to desire this awesome walk with God. This is the center and the pillar of my life. At the same time, i have continued to enjoy God's love in my life in a million ways as below...

 We welcomed our nephew...Jayden Josef Karega, Congrats to Sly and Alex....

 

Love love him!!!

 

Hanging out with the Kids...they love love to watch National Geographic on my phone...and you can all guess what happens to my credit...

 

Lillie's in our home. This is a sight to behold...

 

 Beautiful...we are all out gardening!!!!!

 

Enjoying my 6th Marriage anniversary at an amazing get away place. Thanks Hubby!!!!!

 

Just in case you are wondering...this is what i was looking at...right at the door of our tented  cottage

 

Married to this man for six years and i LOVE him to BITS!

   

Been up and about with the kids too...

 

Been hiding in this lovely place for a few days... we keep checking out fair places to take time off to rejuvenate. This place cost us 4,000kshs per day as family (50USD). Of course we cooked for ourselves ( well, i carry frozen food, my help cooks for a whole day before i travel, so  i pack it all and keep in the fridge once we arrive). It was fun being in the forest and alone.

 

Kids helping me out with cleaning...

 

.. some fire time too...

 

...kids would sleep in the loft...they loved it...

 

Hubby helping in the kitchen

 

Someone having some good me-time...

 

just having a relaxed day...

 

Kids on donkey ride

 

they loved it...

 

relaxing 

 

just chilling by the fire

 

loving on each other

 

book warms

 

more relaxing 

 

more fun...

In all things we give thanks to God. One of the reason i have been off the blog is because i am in transition, changing jobs and thats also the reason we thought we need to take some time off as a family and realx a bit before i take on a new assignment soon....

Today I will magnify you.

When I read the story of Joshua, these are words that I worry about the most. God told Joshua a few things that would lead to his success, which were basically about following the law and the commandments as given by the Lord. Later on, God tells Joshua, today I am about to magnify you in the sight of all Israel, so that they can know as I was with Moses, so am I with you. 

Now, my concern is this, how many of us including myself can be able to handle themselves with humility if God were to say these words to us. 

“Emmah, today I will magnify you in the sight of all…..” 

I think these are very scary words. I was having a conversation with God and I was saying “God I know, when I am in trouble, I can get on my knees and pray, when I am in distress I can call on you, when calamity strikes you are my refuge”…but what happens if you were to exalt me?

Think about it, most of us go to God in prayer based on wants. Our prayer life is God give me this, God give me that...i  need this and i need that....

Imagine if God were to give you all that your heart desires, if God were to tell you, the moment you desire, you have it….or like the Nakumat slogan “you need it, we’ve got it” and more than that it is yours. What then would keep you going back to God and having a deep and intimate fellowship with Him?

Sincerely thinking, most of us, without needs we have no prayer life and that is not the way our relationship with God was meant to be. 

So what happens when God magnifies us? Will we still desire the need for Him….?

As for me, I am on my knees praying to God to help me not to be proud, for when I am proud, I am walking in opposition with God… “He opposes the proud”..

Servant leadership

Just to say the least. It’s been a tough in the last many weeks. As usual blogging becomes one of the least on my priority list, not because I do not value blogging but I just don’t have that much time to do so. I am positive things will change and will be writing weekly if not daily. 

Tell you what. We moved homes, and it take me quite some time to get to work because of jams and that has had to mean I adjust a few things in my life and my evenings are also busy because I get home a little later. At some point, I wondered if the move was right, but at the same time I knew that God had provide a place we can now call our home and we have seen his miraculous provisions in providing that. 

With all these I am grateful for my hubby, for all the things he does to make my life a bit more bearable. He has a job that I envy with all my heart. He has flexible time, can even work from home and work at night and spend good quality time with the kids. I have an 8-5 job which has traveling included. Many times, I wish we could switch jobs. But above all that I chose to look at the grace that comes with having him and just the role he plays in my life.

• I never have to think of whether the car has been serviced I get in and just drive
• He will always check on the kids homework and keeps me updated
• He will help me with any form of paper work that he can do just to lighten my load
•  He has called or sent a message every single day since we got married just to find out how my day is going
• He has never failed to drop me or pick me at the airport unless it is completely impossible
• When I travel, he will ensure I talk with the kids and if possible on Skype
• when he thinks am super exhausted-he will sometimes if money allows organize for a get away
•  Most of all, he will pray and fast for his family, for me, he will open up the Word of God and speak a word of encouragement. 

I could say much but, the kind of servant leadership I see in my husband is one that I greatly admire. And I am so grateful for him.

 Above all- I thank God – God holds it all for us and His grace is immeasurable. He is our constant strength and our personal bravery.

Fear driven affair

I am learning that for a longtime, I have obeyed God and wanted to obey Him in order to run away from the consequences of not obeying Him.

Think about it. Instead of having a love driven affair with the Lord, I am having a fear (wrong fear) driven affair. 

This means that if I do this or that, the Lord will punish me, or I will face and have to deal with painful consequence. Instead of thinking that obedience to God is equal to blessings and having a sweet and wonderful companion hip with the Lord.

David says, “The secret of the sweet satisfying companionship of the Lord, have they who fear, worship and revere Him, He will show them His covenant and reveal to them its deeper meaning”. Psalm 25:14

Now, think about this in relation to the children you and I are raising. How many times do they obey you as a parent because they fear that if they do not, there is punishment that follows disobedience? Good in training, but I think as they mature this needs to change because while it is good to correct and to discipline and the Lord disciplines those He loves, we need to mature in faith and take our walk with God higher and to appreciate that we need to do what we do out of our love for Him and not because we fear the consequences of not doing so.

We therefore also need to discipline children while explaining to them the benefits of obedience and not just allowing them to experience the pain of disobedience. That way, they do not look at obedience as a running away from painful consequences but as a means of enjoying a fulfilling life.

My opinion is therefore that any form of correction which sometimes involves spanking the children must be followed up with comprehensive understanding and appreciation of the benefits that come with obedience.

Well, I am on my knees asking God to help me not to obey Him out of fear but to obey because I simply LOVE him and that obedience amounts to great blessings in Him and having a sweet companionship with Him. 

What this teaches me is how much our upbringing affects our relationship with God.Lets therefore train our children in a manner that as they grow they will learn to interact with God in Truth because we share and live the Truth and the Truth will set them free to Worship and LOVE Him.