I fired my help.

A few weeks ago, I left from work a little earlier, when I got home and for some reason, which i call miracle the house help never did not hear me getting into the house, I found my little boy all by himself downstairs and a lot of yelling was happening upstairs. I thought my help was on phone, she had this tendency to shout when on her phone. A few minutes, the yelling did not seem to end. So I decided to go upstairs and find out what was happening.

It was my little girl, Tana. She was being yelled at for vomiting on her bed, the househelp was yelling on top of her voice, telling Tana to go pick up her mess and go take it to the bathroom. The poor girl was just crying. Just to let you know, Tana was so sick with a high fever. She had by then already spanked her on her butt and told off.

After witnessing  all this, I started crying, I could not believe my eyes, when the househelp realized that I had seen it all. She was shocked. She begged for forgiveness. I told her I have forgiven her and the evening proceeded as normal. 

Let me stop here and say that if this had happened 4 years ago, I would have landed on the househelp with blows! Both physical and of anger. I knew I had to do something about this but not in desperation. The common reaction was to tell her to pack and go. But no, I needed to think through. Oh how Jesus and His eternal Word has changed me.  

The incident took place on a Monday. The week went by and though I felt bad, I had an internal peace that kept me moving, and then came the weekend, my help went for her weekend break and came back on Sunday with a weird story.  She started narrating how she is being be-witched by her friend, who wants her to lose her current job because she does not like her and that is why she was being so cruel to my child. 

I listened to it all, but of course in my heart I am thinking, do you think I am stupid enough to buy that form of deceit? My help came from a tribe where they believed in being bewitched and I knew there was no need arguing with her. 

What was I doing when all this was going on?

a)      Praying

b)      Seeking counsel from godly friends

c)       Looking for another help

For two weeks, it was hard, my help had been great! I mean I have never had a serious issue with her and the kids.  But somewhere deep in my heart and I knew this is it. For some reason I thought, maybe this was just a one off…but then again I thought she needs to go.

Through a friend, I got to meet a potential help. She looked promising; I felt I could try her. But this only made me more confused. You have no idea how much I wanted to make fleeces to God, actually I tried one that did not work. I prayed, I fasted. The fear of getting a worse help was gripping my heart, the fear of the unknown, what about, it’s better the devil you know….

But I remember telling myself one thing. While I know that my help had really disappointed me, the day I fire her, I will add on top of her salary, a two weeks salary to keep her moving as she looks for another job. An idea that I knew my hubby would fight to the end. 

So when I made up my mind to fire her, I told my hubby of my thoughts and he went like, I was thinking of the same.  WHAT?????? REALLY?????

Well, I kind of felt that God was confirming her need to go.  Most of all, we felt in our hearts her season was over with us and though we knew that she is a widow with three kids and she needs a job, God would grant her another job. Believe it or not, I prayed for her to get a new Job. But I knew she had no grace for my home anymore. If you are like me, I have a special place in my heart for widows and orphans. I believe this people are very dear to God.

So after two weeks, we fired her on a Saturday. She resisted leaving, saying that we need to forgive her and she will never do it again. I assured her that i had forgiven her, but was not comfortable with her. She started crying and acting up. But the peace in my heart was definite. She had to go.

Please keep reading. I will share the lessons that I learned Hopefully they will help you one day.

Just sweet Kids

Kendi: Mum are you dropping us to school today?

Mum: I am sorry I can’t I, have a few things to do this morning but Dad will drop you.

Kendi: Oh!-I will miss you a lot today (Hugging Mum) - Cute!

 ******************

Kendi: Mum, Dad has given me, two vests to wear

Mum: Okay...

Kendi: Which one do you think I should wear (showing me the two)?

Mum: Well, either, comme ci comme ca,

Kendi: What is comme ci comme ca?

Mum: I mean it really does not matter which you wear, I am good with any...

Kendi: Okay Mum (she chooses one)

(I am glad that she thinks Mum's opinion matters)

 **********************

Tana wakes up extremely cranky. I am looking at her and thinking. Dear Jesus, not another Monday morning. So I decide to look at her, eye ball to eye ball and I proceed on to tell her, “You have a lot to be happy about girl, come on-let’s sing a song!”

Before we could even sing, she gives a warm hearty laugh!!!. And that was it! Her mood changed  instantly! I thank God for His grace. God has a way of filling our hearts with Joy and dealing with the small details in our lives!

************************

Kendi: Mum, do you know Jesus loves me?

Mum: Sure, He does

Kendi: And He is in my heart?

Mum: Yes He is!

Kendi: So is He in the hearts of bad people? (Dad looks at me –with those eyes of...you are in trouble!!!)

Mum: Not quite, but He sure does hope they can change and then He can come into their hearts

Kendi: Okay.

 *******************************

Kendi: Mum, are we getting another baby?

Mum: May be, if God wants us to.

Kendi: Okay, so do you need to marry Dad again so that we can get that baby?

Mum: (What??????)

********************

Believe you are having a great week....its been BUSY!!!!!!

Three things

For a long time, I have trusted God for an occupation/job/career/ profession that would allow me to spend quality and quantity time with my family. And believe you me; He has been MORE than Faithful.

 

But today morning, it dawned on me how selfish that has been. Despite God been so gracious, it occurred to me that NOT for a moment have I asked ever asked God for a Job that does not strain my relationship with Him. 

So, God and I were on the drawing board again.  The Holy Spirit reminded me of a phrase that we use most of the time…  “Where is God in all this?”

This is a sad phrase because most of the time, we tend to ask of it after we have moved  on into our business and we are at crossroads, meaning, unless we hit a bump in our life, we never think about “where God is in the first place”

So, two things. 

     1.  Does the reality of who God is shape your life/world view or ;

      2. Does the reality of the world shape how you see and interact God

I can tell you, quite a number of us are in the second category, including me. So today, I asked God to change and transform me.

See, for any Mum out there. GOD FIRST! I wish I could help you understand that-But God will.

How do we enjoy our family unless God gives us the grace to do so? Do you know that we can stay at home, spend many hours with our children and still be miserable Mums? Have a great career and yet hate it all together? Try to find the right balance in life and miss it all? Yes, because the moment we draw strength from ourselves, we are nothing but a candidates for failure. 

So, if you are like me, the next time you ask God to give you balance as a working Mum and or are looking for a job;

Three things are important;

1. God grant me a Job/ grant me a career that first and foremost does not strain my time with you that is conducive for my growth as your child and that is favorable for a continuous intimate relationship with you. – Mums, we don’t get to know God by wishing we knew Him, we know God by spending TIME with Him and in His Word. 

2. Sure, I would love a Job/ a career where I am also able to have quality and quantity time with my family. To impact into their lives and change generations to come, that they may turn their hearts to God. 

3. A job/career that will also will allow me to serve others, outside the comfort of my home as the Lord leads. 

That’s my list.

Afraid?

Now, I find God amazing. He calls one afraid guy a mighty warrior! The other day, I was struggling with a few fears, and I kept reminding myself that I have not been given Spirit of fear but of power and sound (balanced) mind. Well, the fear persisted and I asked God to help me because I was shaking within like a leaf, you know those life situations that keep your worried and fearful.

Well, the Holy Spirit led me to Gideon. In judges, the Angel of the Lord appears to Gideon and tells him, “The Lord is with you, Oh mighty man of fearless courage. Judges 6:12

Bu if you read chapter 6, 7,8,9 you will ask God, why did you call this man fearless, while all I see in him is fear. Well if you are like me, i usually have these conversations with God. You see, I ask God many questions about His word, it is His word and I only learn His word through Him and by the help of the Holy Spirit. I mean Gideon; he destroyed the altars of Baal at night, because he was afraid of His father’s household 6:27. Can the Lord actually talk to you, and you are still afraid?   But on the other hand, if you rely on Him, then His word assures us that He is with us and He has already defined who we are. We are fearless men and women of courage, not because we do not feel afraid, but because through Him, He empowers and clothes us with His Spirit to keep on moving.

Judges 7:10. God tells Gideon, by the way if you fear to go down the camp of the

Midianites please take your servant Purah with you. God is sending Gideon, but he knows that this guy will be afraid so he asks him to get some company.

Really, God is so real. He acknowledges our fears and has an answer to all our fears. There are times that I have felt condemned even on pulpit when you are constantly reminded that fear is of the devil and faith and fear don’t walk together and that fear is absolute lack of faith.  But I also find in scripture that God knows our weakness, He knows when we are afraid and the good thing is that when we learn to call on Him, He does help us through our fears.

His Best

There is a common phrase in Kenya known as “hustling”. Meaning, you are working to yourself extremely hard to make a living, so you say you are hassling. Or something close to that. Well, I love Kenya, and I like the fact that quite a majority of us are hardworking. 

I know that we also pray, we seek God and ask and petition Him for so many things in our lives. Sometime back, I was reading my favorite book, the Bible and I came across something and the Holy Spirit Instantly spoke to me so deeply about those words. 

“ He who did not withhold or spare His own son but gave Him up for us all, will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all other things”. Romans 8:32

The next thing I heard in my heart was “He has already given you His BEST He will truly provide for the rest for nothing equals Him giving you His one and only Son.

That was deep? I love God and many times I read the bible and I cannot help to see how much Gods infinite wisdom is well articulated in the bible. There are times I will tell my husband “God is truly smart”. Of course saying He is smart does not describe anything that is equal to Him; it’s just that on this side of the world, I lack words to describe exactly how I feel in my heart concerning His sharpness.

Well, this Monday, just in case you woke up hustling and are truly believing God for something, remember, He has already  given you his BEST and He can freely give you all the other things.  But you know what, I am so glad that I have accepted His BEST, because that already guarantees me eternal life which far surpasses all other things.