Not me

Yes, not me…it’s the woman you gave me. That is what Adam said…Gen 3:12

Well, that is how my kids say it too. That is how I have said it many times. So I am trying very hard to teach them to own up to their mistakes even as I learn too. 

Mum: Tana, who told you to go to my bedroom and take some chocolates

Tana: Its Kendi, she gave me, she went upstairs and…..the story goes on….

Mum: Kendi-why are you tearing that book?

Kendi: Tana was playing with it…..and the story goes on…

For a long time, I struggled with owning up to my own mistakes and i still do sometimes. And I guess it is always earlier to shift blame on someone else. But I think it is a great sign of maturity for any Christian to own up to failures.

I say failures because we all want to own success…don’t we?!

Yes, when things go wrong, we must always ask ourselves how we contributed to the going wrong. My blog friend Holley shared the other day about pride and for sure, pride does manifest itself in many ways, including, when we think, we are right and they are wrong. We are righteous and they are to be blamed!

Please lets learn to own up, I am learning how to do so and shape up to Gods’ grace and goodness! I just love Jesus! 

What is in it for them!

Last weekend, we joined our friends the Roberts to a children’s home in Narok. We were so blessed to have been part of this and just to experience the work that the Roberts have been doing, it awesome to say the least!!!!!

I broke down, those of you who know me; know how I handle certain things. When we got inside the home, the Kids came running to Rosemary – (the owner of the home), calling her Mummy, Mummy and they all hugged her. So what did Emmah do? I started crying, my hubby knew this was coming and he kept saying, please be strong for the kids. Well I tried apart from when they started singing for us and I began fidgeting about it gain. The kids also rushed to hug the Roberts because they are very dear to them.

Please check the Roberts blog for more information on this, they have a great camera and capture very good details. 

The reason I write this is two-fold.

One, I think we need to be extremely sensitive to the needs around us. There are a million genuine needs that we can support. This was a big challenge on our part. And I also believe that orphans and widows are part of Gods’ heart beat. My current help is a widow and I respect that, and I would never like to do any form of injustice to her, first because she is human like I am, but also because I am super sensitive to the fact that she has a husband who watches over her day and night just like the orphans who have a father watching over them day and night. He is the Almighty God. So please, let us open our eyes, our needs are right before us.

Secondly, I think we need to expose our children to the needs in the world. You should have seen Kendi after the trip. She had so many questions. Who are these children? Where did they come from? Where are their Mummies and Daddies? and we had to answer all of them. 

We have in the past visited childrens’ home, I never leave the vehicle I let my hubby do it all and then we head  back home. But I know we made a resolve with my hubby that we would expose our children to the needs in the community, they need to interact with other needy children and appreciate what they have and also realize that there is a lot to be done.

We hope this way, they will be part of change and Instead of sailing in the current boat of "what is in it for me", they will be asking – "What is in it for them"!

We are good, but not them.

Many times when I listen to my children telling-on-each other, I can’t help but project the same on myself. There are times in life when people hurt you so much and in our holier than thou attitude we go to God and ask God to deal with them.

Yes, not that He extends mercy but that he extends His hand of justice and HEAVY justice for that matter.  We love to say that vengeance belongs to God, and sure it does but also remember mercy belongs to God as much.

I like to watch bible stories with my kids, I learn a lot and I get to explain to them what is happening. In fact the other day my house help told me that our kids know the bible more than she does. Well, it’s all in the bible stories.

So one of the stories I have watched with them is the story of Jonah, they love it, though it scares them to see Johan being swallowed by a big fish. But it is the attitude of Jonah that I want to talk about.

The attitude of punish them Lord, they do not deserve your mercy, they do not even deserve your grace. You see, I am good; we are good, but not them. 

Isn't that that same attitude with our kids. They tell on each other , hoping that the other is severely punished and it gratifies them. Has any child ever told-on-another and you forgave the culprit, have you ever noticed the disappointment in the tellers eyes? And you think we are better?

The other day, something happened that made me caught in the same attitude and as soon as I opened face book, I found a quote by Joyce Meyer saying “Before you judge someone else, stop and think about all that God has forgiven you for”

Honestly, I said, No! God PLEASE…not this case. But I decided to obey beyond what I was feeling and so I wrote the same on a note pad and stuck it on my office desk as a constant painful (to the flesh) but righteous reminder that truly, God has forgiven much and the next time I pray for my for someone who has hurt me enough, I will TRY to pray for mercy, that is where I am with God, but I know he will help me, because I desire nothing but righteousness.

“Before you judge someone else, stop and think about all that God has forgiven you for”

Have a blessed week. 

Excited for them

I vividly remember my Dad taking us to Jomo Kenyatta Airport to watch planes land and take off. At least those days- you would interact with a plane but from a distance. But not anymore, the security threats and all have made such luxuries forgotten. So last week, our friends the Koskis invited us to the Africa Inland Mission (AIM) hangar at the Wilson airport and I was thrilled for the kids. I knew this was going to be fun for us, but most of all for them. I mean there are those times that I allow the kids to get excited for themselves, but this time I was really excited for them too.

Here are a few pics, may be not a few.  

Kendi, Tana and their friend Nani.  

Ethan wanted to be left alone most of the times, i guess it was the only way he could feel the planes. 

This is what happens when you ask him to smile. He closes his eyes. 

Done smiling 

Just what am i touching?    

Our pilots  

Still alone, absorbing it all.  

Still in awe  

The best we could get for the four kids. 

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and the family  

This guy was distracting the kids with the tractor and the kids could hardly keep their eyes on the camera so in an ingenious move, he decided to drive the tractor behind the camera . Okay, that is our friend Nathan

and ..that's how we managed to get this photo done 

and this is just a happy Mum 

Jonathan put up the girls to take a good photo, Tana boycotted  

Ethan Wanted to go up too 

So Nathan assisted, but Ethan says "you are not leaving me up here alone....you are stuck with me!"

Okay. There you go. 

Once again, you did not see much of my hubby. He is the camera guy, almost always! We love him, how could I blog without him.

Some don’t make sense, some do.

When I think about how far I have come. I am so glad that I know Christ and that he has the bigger plan in mind. He puts all the pieces together because He had the final blue print of my life before any of my days came to be.  Sometimes all I see are little pieces, some don’t make sense, some do. But sometimes when I give a bird’s eye view to my life, I see how God plans everything in my life and it gives me such great confidence to face the future with boldness knowing that despite the unknown future, I have a God whom I personally know.

For example

Before I cleared high school, my parents moved homes and we ended up as neighbors to a girl who was enrolling to Daystar University – and there I was. We though, not bad. We tried it. It was a step of faith.

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After the first year, my parents could not afford to pay university fees anymore, so I thought, what is all these? I chose to quit but before I could actualize my thoughts, the finance Aid officer called me to her office and told me amazing words. She said, “I have been scrolling through the list of students and I felt a strong urge to offer you a full scholarship!” – Do you think you need one?"What? Yes. Out of nowhere! Private University – God Paid it!

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And can I tell you more. When I enrolled for my masters, I thought I would get a scholarship too…but no…God told me, “I fed you on manna when you did your first degree. Now work!” Ha! It was so clear; I had applied like 50 scholarships and I remember telling some of my friends- none of it is coming through! God says I work. So I paid for my Masters as I worked and there was so much grace.

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My first Job, I got it through my University roommate, who joined me the last year, Swedish girl with a Kenyan boyfriend. The boyfriend’s office needed and intern and I began right there, with that first connection.  And here I am today, passionately working in the areas of gender and human rights. God has been there through every job.

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When I gave birth to my first, I shared an office with a lady who taught me so much about motherhood. God must have placed her there to help me. She gave me a book-contented little baby- which was life changing and I have shared  it with many more Mums. 

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Let me talk about my man. I was literally forced to go for a University Christian Union Holiday Conference because I used to be a chairperson – leading bible study in campus and the leaders had to go. I was so annoyed because I wanted to spend the holidays with my family. Little did I know that the University was pushing me into my destiny to meet the love of my life! Hurray! Am so glad I went!

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I have so much to say about how God has put pieces together in my life. Every step has been grace if not a miracle. So I never take neighbors for granted, co-workers, I mean literary everybody, because THEY ALL HAVE A DEFINED ROLE TO PLAY IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU IN THEIRS! ASK YOURSELF- OF ALL THE BILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD TODAY- WHY DO YOU ONLY KNOW THE ONES YOU KNOW?

Just Moments

A few weeks ago, Tana would go to bed and in five minutes, she will call out for her Dad. Her awesome Dad would always rush to their room and Tana goes “ Dad, I need some water”. After five episodes of the same, on the six or so time, Tana did her new found ritual but instead of Dad rushing to her room – He responds back “I am not a waiter, get out of bed and get yourself some drinking water’…Mum bursts out laughing. Don’t I love Chris?

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I have been baking a lot in my house. My househelp loves the cakes apart from the Chocolate related Cakes. During my recent trip (away from home), my hubby says. "Oh, now that you will be away,…I need to take daily measurement of these cakes, even if it means using a ruler at least it will help me know the consumption rate of cakes around here before i surprise myself and find nothing in the fridge!

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We learn many songs from our kids. They sing them at home after a day in school.  Sometimes when we sing the wrong way, Kendi will say “Mum, please stop and sing after me” then she teaches us the whole song. Sometimes she will say go on  to say “Okay now, let’s sing together” (meaning-I seem to be getting it)- she a wonderful teacher!

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When I came back from Uganda on Sunday, I found my family at the airport. Nice. Just to let you know how kids react directly to the same issue.

When Kendi saw me, she ran and gave me a huge huge and hug, forgetting that there are security measures at the airport.  

Tana on the other hand jumped up and down over and over again at the same spot – shouting and yelling …Mummy mummy mummy mummy, oblivious of the fact that the waiting area was full of people who were all staring at her!

 You want to know about Ethan- he was just fascinated by the many lights at the airport. I think it hit home that Mum was here, when we got into the car and the kisses followed. 

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Hope you had a fun filled weekend! 

Family Planning

I recently met a friend whose capacity to give birth was affected by family planning drugs or what you would call the pills. She is very bitter with her doctor and life in general. Needless to say that I had a house help who always had a swollen leg and when I asked her what happened, she would say that it was the family planning injections that almost cost her leg, and now she has to live with a swollen leg all her life.

Last year, two of my friends conceived while using a family planning option. Granted, they are not a 100% guarantee, but when it becomes the story in town over and over again, you start to question their validity.

Someone else will  tell you- that there is no need to worry when you are breastfeeding, that you are well protected and sorted! I have a friend who was pregnant within the four months of breastfeeding because she trusted that theory.

But I also have amazing theories of people who use the safe days-God bless them!!!!I do not know how they do it. At least I know that is not my path unless I want to use the literal meaning of filling the earth.

So really, what is left of us to do? I am very careful to say this is good and or this is bad. Because for sure, everything varies. I decided to blog on this topic because people have requested me to just talk about it and I am not even sure what to say. BUT I think we must all make an informed choice on this subject, read wide as much as we can before we make a move and don’t take anything as gospel truth unless you have the facts and figures.

I started using the Pill a month before I got married, because I did not want to get pregnant during our honeymoon, what I did not know was that the same pill would drastically reduce my libido as a woman, make me irritable and the like. By the time we had our honeymoon, I had such low libido if any and to be honest, all I wanted to do was swim and swim and swim! That did not go well with my newly wedded husband!

So I decided no more hormones in my body. Best of all, I decided to read wide on the subject and to learn from other women who have gone before!

So what’s your story? Any helpful tips?

Born Sinners

The other day we went out for tea with the kids. They were given some crayons and coloring paper. When we walked out, we noticed that Kendi had curled up her dressed and the waiters were starring at her on our way out. When we got to the door, we asked her to stop pulling up her dress. But little did we know that she was hiding the crayons. They were already hers and she had every right to come out with them, but to her, she was taking them away and hoping Mum and Dad don’t notice. Truly we are born sinners.

This was the look after we asked her to surrender and put down her dress

The crayons 

Just a Mum being thankful

I am thankful that I am a few days to getting back home. At least the week is half way done.

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I am thankful for God’s grace and technology too, I can Skype with the kids, I get to see them in the evening and talk for a while, sing together, pray together and kiss each other goodnight.

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I am so so grateful for my husband.

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I am thankful that my niece Samara has started school. She lookslovely doesn’t she? This girl is a wonder.

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I am thankful that while I am away, there are friends who check on my family and my hubby’s male friends plan keep him company on Saturday afternoon and evening.  We have family oriented great men in this generation.

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I am grateful that while my hubby and I were brainstorming with the idea of getting a healthy cake, which we had been requested to go with for a school breakfast get-together this coming Saturday (knowing that i would still be away) when somehow my friend Rachael got to know about it, she volunteered to make a banana cake and drop it over this Friday evening! Seriously – Thanks Racheal!

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...and am so thankful that Ethan is now walking!!!!!!!!! I know that might mean troubleshooting a few current and expected challenges but here we go Ethan.... 

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I know life can be tough- but I am sure we all have GREAT things to thank God about. Let’s cultivate a culture of gratitude!