Today on Totos Tuesday, I am wondering - What determines how many children we want to have?
Why are women giving birth in IDPs camps in Turkana to too many children while they still cannot feed the ones they have?
They say for any woman there is always a minus one, and it does not matter how many you have. Like there is this one child who needs to be born in your family and if you don't give birth to them, some other woman will because they had to be born. Meaning there are some women walking around with your children who you did not want to give birth to. When I heard of this theory - I was puzzled to say the least.
I will soon share my thoughts in this subject but what do you my friends think? What are the influencing factors when it comes to how many children to have?
Does God get to say something about it? Or is He the silent listener to your conversation with your spouse on this subject, or is He is watching in silence as you work through the short term and permanent family planing methods while you have the last say?
Are children a faith project or a facts project or a combination of the two or none of the said?
Are children a faith project or a facts project or a combination of the two or none of the said?
Is multiplication equal to re-placement? Where you have two kids to replace yourself and your spouse while God says we multiply?
I think the views are extreme, but let me hope I will hear something from you? Click on the comments below and lets hear what you have to say.
Let me bold and try and attempt to answer from my perspective. I think for me, how many babies one wants is both a faith and fact project. Why do I say that? A couple may desire to have two or three kids even with God being a silent listener but I strongly believe that children are from God and He has the final say. You may what your babies but you are not able to conceive. Again you may have wanted two babies and then you get an 'oops' baby. Is that baby a mistake, of course not. So we humans may think we make the decision but I think God has the final say.
ReplyDeleteSecondly,I would love to give my children the best. Does this influence the number of kids I want? Unfortunately yes.I think that's something I struggle with because my financial position today may limit me in my decision making. Again it becomes a faith thing because I would trust God to bless me and expand my abilities to provide so our current position ( which maybe temporary) may influence how many babies I want, yet I know that its not about how hard I work, its not about my job and how much am earning, its all about God providing, because some people have moved from riches to rugs or from rugs to riches. However, the human nature in me makes decisions on my current position, because am scared to venture into the unknown.
Lastly, am not sure that I identify with that minus one theory and I also can't explain why women in poverty get more babies. However, one thing I know is that they teach us that there is a God who takes care of his own. Have you seen the poor living conditions those kids grow up in? Yet some are so healthy? Isn't it a sobering reminder that children are of God? Maybe they get the babies to seek love from husbands, to replace one child incase they die,sometimes lack of family planning and knowledge.That's my understanding.But am keen to hear what others think of this question.
This topic is dynamic but core. We normally decide for ourselves the number we want then ask God to help us achieve our target. it should be the other way round. i however agree with what you once said that we should check our reasons for wanting a certain number. it should not be to me our selfish desires but to consider what that our offspring are to fulfil God's purpose.
ReplyDeletechasing for a certain gender e.g boy or girl(mostly boy) also makes people have many children.
i think children are a gift from God and we should learn to be contented whether He grants you one ,two three or more . After all the power of creation is in His hands.
Society also lays alot of pressure, if you get one the society may say you are selfish and if you get many they say you are irresponsible!!!how many really?
Ems, this is a hard one maybe coz of the many situations you have indicated above. First for me I believe that God hs his hand in this a cool 100% and though I may decide to plan, its only God who makes this plans to come to pass. I go for no specififc sex its all God placing a resource in my hands and entrusting me with it so in this case I am a steward and work hard to give the best I can to Gods resources. Therefore we work in partnership with God i.e. I must understand what God wants for me and then plan within his will.
ReplyDeleteAs for y many poverty striken mothers continue to get many kids yet they cnt even fed for th eexisting ones, am sure education and understanding is a key role in this and their cultures take a key role in decision making. e.g. A woman may be vewed by th esociety or culture as better coz she has more boys thn girls making another one to work harder at giving birth so that she can hve boys and be respected.
Just like Sly...I'd like to hear what others think of the same